i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
