i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
