I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
