So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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