I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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