Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
