I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
