He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I could fuck to npr.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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