yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
