I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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