Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
