I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
