theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
