just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize