pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
high people should be assigned attendants
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
