Taylor Swift is so right about you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do herpes really smell.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
