he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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