ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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