direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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