we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
