Taylor Swift is so right about you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he thought i was a dude.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
