you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Success! We fucked roommates!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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