I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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