dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
