Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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