sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
