I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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