I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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