i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
and she was petting her beer can
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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