are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
