we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Two words: blizzard sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
