wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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