weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
