all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize