In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize