it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
