so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ate ashes out of my bong
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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