Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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