I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
