Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
