There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
True but thats because hes a fetus.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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