clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
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some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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