Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish i was in the wii world.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
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I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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