hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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