this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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