Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
