I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
