Yo dont text me then not text me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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