Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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