she was so not down for the gang bang
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
