I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
