Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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