Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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