Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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