and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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