she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
