Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
