i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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