Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
