We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
