Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
