ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
