To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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