Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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