My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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