I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
