How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i think i just naturally attract stoners
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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