I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
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